A new love
by Jezier
Summary: After the battle with the newborns causes great loss in the Cullen family, Jasper and Bella will find that they can heal each other in ways they thought no longer possible.  I'm bad a reviews, please read.
1. Chapter 1

JPOV

'Alice, why are you doing this?'

'I'm sorry jasper, I just can't take it anymore, and it's to hard being reminded everywhere I look.' She slowly walked out of my grip.

'I lost them to Alice.'

'YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEE THEM IN YOUR HEAD EVERY SECOND THOUGH!' Alice collapsed on the floor crying, I wanted to go to her so badly, but by her emotions I knew she'd just push me away. Alice was always broken on the inside from her past, and when things got bad she never let me in.

'Please Alice; just give it time to heal.' I tried to send calming waves over her, but she ran from me." ALICE, COME BACK." I tried to run after her, when I heard her whisper.' I'm leaving Jasper, don't follow me.' And with that I stopped running.

Everything seemed dimmer without her here.

I lost two of my brothers and a sister, and now my wife.

The pain was like nothing I'd ever experienced.

It was worse then the bites, and my days with Maria. It was worse then anything. The pain was crushing me from every side, I had to escape. I ran from the house, not caring where I was going, just running. Alice had been my life for over 60 years. I mean things hadn't always been perfect, but whose life is? She had to come back; she had to change her mind. I'd already lost to much to loose her too. I continued to run not caring where I went, everything blurring past me. If this is how I felt with Alice leaving, I could only imagine what Bella must be feeling with Edward gone. Thinking about my siblings saddened me a great deal. I hated feeling other people's emotions when I could barely deal with my own. It all just kept hurting all the time.

BPOV

I only heard half of what happened with Alice and Jasper, but it was enough to know she's not coming back. I felt numb, Edward was gone, Emmett was gone, Rosalie was gone, and now Alice had left us.

Poor Jasper, to loose half your family, then your wife, I can understand the pain he must be feeling.

I understand, because that same pain threatens to enclose me any minute. Edward was everything, my world, and now he's gone. I didn't know what I was meant to do with my life now, did I stay with the Cullens, or did I move back with Renee, she certainly wanted me to. When she heard about the Cullens fatal 'car crash' she immediately asked me to move back. I couldn't bear to leave forks though; sometimes it still felt like he was still here. Charlie wanted me to move back in with him, but I just couldn't imagine leaving Edwards room. I'd been in here since he died. The others tried to pry me out, but the world beyond this room, was one I wasn't ready to face just yet. A part of me knew I couldn't go on like this forever, that eventually I would have to leave my room, leave this house even. But not today, and certainly not tomorrow. The pain was to fresh.

EPOV

Leaving Jasper and Bella was eating me up inside. She still hadn't come out of her room yet, and Carlisle and I could here her crying all the time. I continued to bring her food everyday to try and coax her out, but she remained silent and unmoving. I could see the toll this was taking on Carlisle; I hated to see him like this. Half of my family was gone, my children, I wasn't sure He or I was ever going to recover from such a loss. And now my Alice has left; poor Jasper must be so upset. He still hasn't come home yet. I do hope he hasn't done anything reckless. I knew he struggled with our choice of lifestyle the most, but he really was a sweet boy. I couldn't wait any longer to leave this house, although Jasper and Bella meant the world to me, the pain was something I could no longer bear. I had written both Jasper and Bella a letter each explaining why we were leaving, as I knew neither would listen at the moment.

I hoped they'd understand one day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note.**

**Thanks for all the reviews on the previous version of this story, however I have decided based on some of the feedback I got, to revise and change some things in my story. So I have taken it down. The first two chapters are back up, so read and review and let me know what you think. **

**I don't own any of Stephanie Meyers work.**

BPOV

It had been three days since Alice left, and Jasper still hadn't come back. I was beginning to think everyone was going to end up leaving me. Carsile and Esme barely came out of there room, except for when Esme brought me food. And Carsile came as he never left her side anymore. The sadness on there faces made me realize how much pain I brought to this family. If I had never met Edward and let him go when I should've, none of this would have happened. I rolled over on the bed to see the clock. 6:45pm, Esme should've been in with dinner, not that I ate it. But it was nice to see her out of her room. When I looked back at the clock and it was 7:30pm, I was starting to get worried. Esme usually came at the same time everyday. I didn't want to leave my room and the safety of Edwards's things, but I couldn't loose another Cullen. I slowly opened the door and peered out into the hallway. I couldn't hear anything, but in this house that didn't mean a lot. I decided to just walk straight to Carsile and Esme's room. I knocked on the door, but couldn't hear anything from the inside. I went to knock again when I felt a gush of wind behind me. Jasper stood in front of me, although he wouldn't meet my eyes. He wasn't in check with his power, because I could feel the sorrow washing over me. I tried to keep it at bay, but in the end it got too much and I fell to the ground. Suddenly I felt the sorrow go away, although the echo was still there, and jasper had his arms around me. He was sobbing, Jasper sobbing. I had never spoken to him much, but I spose with everyone else gone I was as good as anyone to go to.

'Jasper, what's wrong?' 'There…there gone... .'His sobs got louder as he spoke.' I know, I know.' What else could I say? Focusing on his grief was the only thing keeping mine from over powering me.

'No there all gone...'

'Esme and..? ''Yes.. .' With that one word, all the emotion I had been keeping inside spilled out until I was crying along with Jasper. I knew my emotions would make his harder to bear, but I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I don't know how long we sat there, but by the time I lifted my head, I could see a faint glow coming through the windows. It had to be nearly morning. I was curled up in jasper's lap against the wall. He had held me all night while I cried and he sobbed. He didn't move at all now though, just held me close while staring off into the distance.

'Jasper?' Yes Bella?' Please don't leave me like the rest.' I knew I sounded whiny and pathetic, but if all the Cullens left, I knew I wouldn't survive the pain.' Of course Bella, I'll stay.' I hugged him even tighter, if that was possible. I knew it was cruel to keep Jasper separated from the rest of his family, what was left anyway, but I couldn't loose the last scrap of Edward I have.' Bella…you should get some rest, you've been up all night.' Will you stay?' Even I could hear the desperation in my voice. (I was losing it.)'If you wish me too, I will stay.' I was still surprised how the Cullen's talked, no matter how long I had been around them, how the Cullen's spoke.

They always spoke so proper. I walked back into Edward's room and halted at the door. I don't think I could sleep in this room with a guy other then Edward.

Before I could even say anything Jasper took me into a spare guest room.

It pretty much looked like every other room in the house, without the personal affects.

It's ironic how the room is right between Edward's and Alice and Jasper's.

The bed was soft and as know as I felt Jasper wouldn't leave, I fell asleep.

JPOV

As I was watched Bella sleep, I though back to when I watched Alice in our bed.

Obviously she didn't sleep, but sometimes she was so inside her head that it was like she was asleep. I never saw her more at peace in this life. Bella on the other hand, didn't look at peace, every time I got distracted and forgot to send calming waves over her, she would scream and cry in pain calling out Edward's name. Her feelings washed over me, crashing me with sorrow, pain, desperation and oddly guilt. Did she blame herself for there deaths? For the others leaving? Knowing how selfless she was, and taking the blame for others, she probably blamed herself for everything that happened in this family. To be honest, the family has been a lot happier and more whole since Bella came into our lives. I looked over at the clock and it was 4:40, Bella had slept for over 11 hours. 'Bella?'

She started to stir and ended up rolling into me.

'Later Jasper, I'm sleeping.' She almost sounded grumpy with me. I laughed and then stopped half way through. Why did I laugh, how could I be happy when Alice was gone, and half my family was dead or missing. Threw all this musing inside my own head, I didn't realize Bella had woken up and was looking at me.

'What are you thinking about?' She asked.' Nothing Bella, are you hungry?' She gave me the silliest face, like she was embarrassed to say yes.' I'll make you some breakfast, actually afternoon tea.' I smiled at her and left the room.

Smiling? Laughing? Why was I acting like this, when just hours ago I was sobbing with my brother's fiancé in the hall?

The whole thing threw me. Sometimes I wish I could read my own emotions. As I ran down to the kitchen, I heard the shower turn on. It was nice to know she was getting out of bed these days. Esme had told me she hardly left Edward's bed let alone room.

Thinking about Esme made me think about when they left.

_*Flashback*_

_I knew I had to return to the house at some point, I couldn't leave Esme and Carlisle alone after another one of there kids left. Although they hardly left there room, or each other's side, would they notice me gone?_

_I had to believe they would, and I couldn't bare the thought of them in more pain then they are, so I ran back to the house to face them and Alice leaving._

_When I got there, I immediately knew something was wrong, I could feel the guilt radiating from the house. I picked up speed and nearly ran right into Carlisle.' Jasper you came back.' Carlisle felt ashamed. Why?' I didn't want to put you and Esme in anymore pain.'_

_Carlisle's face dropped and I knew he was leaving, which meant Esme, my mother, was leaving as well._

'_Why..?' _

"_Jasper__' I cut him off._

'_Alice left me, Rose, Em and Edward are gone, and now you're leaving me too?'_

'_Jasper it's not that easy. It's to hard being around this place, and I know our emotions make it harder for you. It's best for everyone.'_

'_It's best for everyone or best for you?'_

_Esme fluttered to my side and placed her hand on my arm, even in horrible moments like this, she still radiated love towards me._

'_Jasper, we need time. You have to understand that. It doesn't mean we don't care for you.'_

'_I can't do this alone. Please.. .' I hated hearing the desperation in my voice, but they were they only family I have left._

'_What about Bella? What am I supposed to tell her?'_

'_We left her a note, we left you a note as well, but it doesn't really apply now that you're here.'_

'_Take care of her Jasper; I know you'll be able to. Help heal her, and let her heal you.'_

'_She's barely come out of Edward's room, I'm worried about her.' It amazed me how Esme could still be a mother to us in such a terrible time, even to Bella._

'_I'll take care of her.'_

_Carlisle left the note for Bella in my hands, __and in a second they were gone._

_*End Flashback*_

BPOV

The last few days have been hard to say the least. Jasper has been a great comfort to me, although I couldn't get rid of the guilt I felt for keeping him around. He would continue to ask me about why I felt guilty, but I never answered him. If I told him, he would surely leave, and I just don't think I could handle that at the moment. After reading Carlisle and Esme's letter, I knew they wanted me and Jasper to take care of each other. I guess I wasn't doing a very good job. I still hadn't faced Charlie since the Cullen's funeral. I knew I was hurting him by keeping away, but I could hardly get through a day by myself, let alone worrying about him as well.-Great daughter I am huh? 'Bella..?' Jasper snapped me out of my inner musings, with breakfast on the table.' Sorry Jasper, thanks for breakfast, looks amazing.' It's my pleasure, going to eat some today?' I felt terrible that he put so much effort into making me food, but I couldn't bear to eat. What was the point when Edward wasn't around?' You have to eat something Bella, I know you miss Ed..Him, but you need to take care of yourself.' I was grateful he didn't say his name. Thinking it was hard enough. I shoved some of the scrambled eggs in my mouth and swallowed. Opening my mouth to show Jasper I had eaten it he smiled at me and left the room. I knew I wasn't fooling him, I wasn't going to eat it all, but I tried to make a little effort to show him I was trying. Once I finished my 'Bite' of breakfast, I went out of the kitchen to walk back to Edward's room. Walking through this house empty seemed wrong, like the life was sucked out of the house. Looking at all the furniture they way it was before suddenly made me miserable. I fell to the ground, not bothering to go any further anymore and just stared at it all. I knew Jasper could tell I was upset, but I'm glad he left me alone this time. I had to get it out the pain of trying to pretend I was ok was suffocating me.

**Read and Review.! I wont be putting the next chapter up until I hear what you all think. Just so I know the revise is going well.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks**** Sandow45 for my first review =]**

**I'll try and update as quick as possible. I got a lot of work to do though = [.**

**Cheers.**

**Enjoy =].**

**I don't own any of Stephanie Meyers work.**

It has been two weeks since he has been gone, and I feel much is the same. I pretend I'm ok, Jasper pretends he's ok. But we both know otherwise. I was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea when Jasper floated in.' Morning Bella, sleep well?' Fine' He knew I was lying, but managed to hide it well behind a tight smile. I'd been having nightmares ever since it happened.' So, I've decided where going out today.' 'What? Why?' Bella, you sit around moping all day, and it's doing you no good. So, where going out.' Jasper honestly, I'm getting better.' Then why is it all I can feel coming off you is pain?' My face fell, I hated knowing my feelings where causing him pain, especially when I knew he was suffering too.' Never mind about me, today's about cheering you up.' Before I could even utter a word he was pushing me up the stairs. 'Get cleaned up and changed and then we can leave.' The idea of going out somewhere, away from these memories did seem nice. I jumped in the shower, determined to at least try to be a lil happier. Forgetting the pain would be impossible though.

JPOV

Bella looked more and more hagged everyday. Despite the pain I was feeling, I couldn't let her keep suffering like this. Taking her out of this house and it's memories will be good for both of us. I could hear her turn of the shower and get dressed; her heart was beating extremely fast. Then I felt worry off her and ran up to her room. 'BEL...' I stopped dead; Bella was only in her underwear when I barged in.' I'm sorry. I...''Jasper what's wrong?' Bella placed a towel around herself.

'I felt worry from you, I thought….''Oh, I was worried about what to wear, as all my clothes are at home and I didn't have anything here. Wearing Ali…anyone else's clothes would just seem wrong.' Bella I'm sorry to intrude on your personal space. There are some clothes we keep spare I will grab for you.' 'Thanks.' I flew out of there as fast as I could. Why did I race to her so quick? I'd felt worry come off her all week. I couldn't stand the thought that she was worried about where I was taking her, or being with me that I rushed to her. I was determined to become Bella's friend, and earn her trust. Edward had never let me close to Bella, for good reason too, but things were different now. I grabbed a whole pile of clothes, not sure what Bella would like to wear, and ran back to her room. 'Bella, Can I come in?' Sure' I walked into the room at a slow pace even for a human and placed the clothes on her bed.' Jasper don't worry about it 'k?' 'Sure Bella, I'll wait for you downstairs.' And with that I was in the car out the front waiting for her. I could hear her getting ready and feel the anticipation coming off her. I hoped she likes where I'm taking her.

BPOV.

We had been driving for a nearly an hour, Jasper thankfully drove at a human pace. The way they all drove made me skittish. After about another 15 minutes I saw a sign 'Welcome to Seattle.' Seattle brought back pained memories; I know Jasper felt it too.

'I'm sorry about the location Bella, but you'll like where we are going promise.' Jasper winked and smiled at me as he looked back to the road. Seeing Jasper smile was some what weird, we were never really close and I had never really seen him happy. He always looked strained. That made me curious.' Jasper does my blood still cause you pain? You don't seem as strained around me anymore.' 'It is bearable now; I hardly notice it as I'm not so focused on it now. Why do you ask?' Well before when….before you never really came near me much or talked to me. I understand it's because of my scent. But now you seem more comfortable around me I suppose.'

'Things have been put in a bit more perspective for me recently Bella. You needed worry yourself with all that now. And I apologize for my past behavior.' Jasper's accent was a lot thicker now then I remember it.' I was never scared of you Jasper.' I only whispered it, but I knew he heard me. I must have dosed off, because I woke to Jasper nudging me.' We're here Bella.!' I looked around slowly and couldn't figure out what he meant.' I don't see anything.' Just there.' Jasper pointed to a tiny store to the left of the car. It was called 'An Escape.' What is it?' It looked abandoned.' I know it looks dodgy, but trust me you'll like it. Come on.' Jasper got out of the car and raced to my side. When I got out of the car he took my hand.

I went to jerk away, but my feelings gave off the impression before I could react and Jasper pulled his hand away.' Excuse me Bella.' Don't feel bad, it just took me by surprise. Come on, show me the store!' Jasper led the way into what really did look like an abandoned shop. He led me towards the back where there was a spiraling staircase that led up to a second level. When I reached the top it was like a dream come true. There were stacks of books everywhere, big arm chairs to sit in. I walked around almost in a daze, completely forgetting everything else.

In the middle of the room was a circular window that looked over the harbor in Seattle. It was so beautiful; I could imagine it would look even better at sunset.

I suddenly started to imagine myself sitting here reading at sunset and falling asleep in the big armchairs. I always loved reading, especially old classic books. And from what I've seen there was a lot of my type of books here.' Do you like it?' 'Do I like it? Are you kidding? I love it.' And for the first time in two weeks I genuinely smiled.

'How did you know about this place, is it yours?' There used to be a shop here when we first moved, this top area being the reading area. They always had books I loved and I got along well with the shop keeper. There were never many people here so the blood wasn't that tempting. I'd sit up here for hours getting lost in books. Alice always teased me that I was having an affair with my books.' Jasper looked dazed as he though back to that time. 'But the shopkeeper went bankrupt and had to close. Had I been around when it happened I would have donated or something, but we were away at the time.' I knew when he was talking about and I was grateful he didn't mention it more.' So you bought it?' I bought the store and moved everything up here. It keeps people from breaking in, as they can't see anything, and it's like my own little world. Plus it has a great view.' It's amazing Jasper. Thank you for bringing me here.' It's your from now on as well Bella. You can come here whenever you want, and borrow the books as you wish. The name is appropriate to what it's like in here for me and I hope for you, 'An Escape.' Jasper it's amazing, thank you. Can we maybe stay awhile?' Jasper laughed, which shocked me.' We can stay as long as you like Bella.' Seeing him this happy in here gave me hope that this little haven could give me some joy in my otherwise dark life. I wandered through the isles of books until I found what I was looking for.' Wuthering Heights.'

JPOV

Bella wondered around for ages concentrating hard until finally the creases on her face smoothed out and she found what she was looking for. I could clearly see the title.

'Wuthering Heights.' I frowned. It didn't seem like the type of book to cheer her up.

But she walked over to one of the lounges in front of the window and starting reading.

She looked up every so often to stare out the window, I was glad she had come to love this place as I have. About two hours later she looked up and smiled at me. I could feel from her emotions that she was genuinely happy in this place and that made hope for the future.

.

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	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**Thank for the reviews guys!**

**Well this chapter will be from APOV mostly. To see where she ran away too, and what she's doing.**

**Enjoy and Review!**

**I don't own any of Stephanie Meyer's work.**

APOV.

I had been running for days, watching visions of Jasper. I hated knowing I caused him pain, but he didn't understand what I was going through. Sure he could tell what I was feeling, but it's just an echo, he doesn't feel what it's like directly for me. Seeing them in my head all the time, my family, it was crushing me. Bella wouldn't understand why I left, her losing Edward would make her angry at me for abandoning Jasper. But did I really abandon him? Would I never go back? I honestly didn't know what I was going to do anymore. I knew I couldn't keep running by myself forever. I had to stop and hunt anyway. As I slowed pace and threw my senses out, I caught the sound of lapping down by the river and knew there was wildlife there. I stalked closer silently as to not startle them, and found the perfect spot. There was five deer drinking by the river and all of them made my mouth water. As soon as I had planned my attack I didn't hesitate to sedate my thirst. The first two went down easily and I had my fill, although at the end I felt somewhat empty. I knew I wasn't still thirsty, this was another kind of hunger. I couldn't be alone anymore, and so I decided to visit the Denali clan. Being around them would give me a sense of home, but no the type that tears my heart open.

I saw a vision of them welcoming me I was running and saw something most surprising. Kate had finally found a man. Garret. Interesting name, and he was a nomad. His eyes were a dull red almost brown, which made me see he had been trying the vegetarian diet. I wonder if Kate knew he was going to propose to her. Some time knowing everything took the excitement out of it, but right now I needed some cheering up and I had a good feeling that going to Denali was the perfect place to do that.

JPOV.

Bella had improved enormously since I took her to Seattle. She asks me almost everyday if she can go there. I'm happy to take her of course; I'm just worried she'll swap one cage for another. It's my fault she's doing it, I can tell the guilt she feels, but I avoid talking to her about it and helping her. I think it's because I feel if I hadn't attacked her at her birthday all these events could have been avoided. I spose that's just me blaming myself as well. I was happy to see her eating breakfast everyday now though; it showed a new lease on life from her. Obviously the death of Edward and the rest of our family affected her greatly, but an improvement was an improvement, and that's what I was after. Tanya called me last night to let me know Alice was there and she was safe, but apart of me just didn't care anymore. Alice abandoned me, she abandoned Bella and left us alone. I still loved her, but I didn't like her at the moment.

I walked into the kitchen to find Bella reading Sense and Sensibility while eating scrambled eggs.

'Eggs again Bella?'

Her laughter filled the kitchen and she just smiled at me in response.

'So I though maybe instead of going to Seattle, you could visit Charlie today. He's been ringing nearly everyday to see if he can visit you.' I almost regretted saying it when Bella's faced lost all the happiness it showed before.

'I just can't yet Jasper; I can't let him see me like I was before. I saw how much it hurt him and I won't put him through that again.'

'Don't you think it hurts him to know you don't want to see him?'

'How can he think that? Of course I want to see him, it's just too soon after everything happened. I need time.'

I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it, but we had to get this out in the open before she completely shut herself away for good.

'Bella, it wasn't your fault. No one blames you for what happened; you have to stop torturing yourself.' I could tell by her mood change and her expression that she didn't want to talk about this, but too bad. Enough is enough.

'I know you think that if you hadn't have met Edward, if you had have stayed away from him like he asked, if, if, if, but you can't do that to yourself.' I walked to Bella and turned her to face me.

'What happened was not your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. What happened, happened and there's no point in you sitting here everyday torturing yourself. Or shutting yourself away reading. We're both still here, and im determined not to let this ruin us.' Bella was silent for awhile, just staring at nothing until all of a sudden she hugged me. I was surprised to say the least that was not the response I was expecting. Tears and anger where top on my list, but all I felt coming off Bella was gratitude.

'Thank you Jasper. I know it's not my fault deep down, but I can't stop this feeling of guilt everyday when I wake up. It's like suffocating me and I feel like I can't breathe. I can't let Charlie see me like this I wont, I'm sorry, I just can't.'

'It's alright Bella, I'm here, everything's going to be ok.' I wrapped my arms around Bella and held her to me until she calmed down more. Once I though she was calm enough I pulled away from her to look in her eyes.

'We can wait as long as you like to see Charlie and we can go to Seattle everyday if you want. Just tell me how I can help you.'

'You already do help me Jasper, more then I can ever repay. I think maybe I should at least call Charlie, let him know I'm doing better. Can I borrow your phone?'

'Of course, I'll leave you alone. Just call me if you need me k?'

'Thanks.'

I left Bella alone in the kitchen and went to sit on the back porch. I always used to love sitting here as the sun went down, I found it brought me peace, to know at night I could be myself and get away from the strain of being surrounded by humans. A feeling of relief flooded through me as I heard Bella talking to her father, I think this time I got through to her and she was going to start letting me in. A part of me wanted Bella to tell me everything, to share her thoughts with me. I didn't know why, but since spending more time with her, Bella has captured my attention in a way it hasn't been for awhile.

BPOV

As the phone was ringing my heart was pretty much racing out of my chest. I hadn't spoken to Charlie since the funeral and I had no idea what to say to him.

'Bella? Honey is that you?'

'Hi dad, yeah it's me.'

'Oh Bella, I missed you so much. I wasn't sure you were ever going to call.' My heart ached, how could I have been so selfish and ignore him all this time.

'Yeah I'm sorry dad, I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just been hard.'

'I know it must be killing you Bella, I just wish you'd let me help. You know your mother's been calling me non stop.'

'What did you tell her? You know how much she freaks out.'

'I told her I'd talked to you and you were doing fine. I thought it would be easier that way, and she wouldn't have to worry.' I didn't even want to think about how much Charlie must have suffered the past two weeks. I had put him through pain again when I promised myself I wouldn't after last time.

'I'm doing a lot better dad, I swear. Jasper took me up to sea..'

'Jasper? I though he was with Alice?'

'Alice left dad, Jasper's the only one who stayed. What about Alice?'

'She called me to see how I was doing, she said her and Jasper left to get away for awhile and she wanted to check up on you.'

'Alice left Jasper dad, two weeks ago.' I wonder why she said that?

'Oh, well maybe it was easier for her to say that then explain the issue to me, not that she needed to, I was surprised to hear from her at all.'

'I'm sure that's it. Well I have to go dad, I promise I'll visit soon, when im a bit better.'

'Don't be a stranger k' Bells?'

'Sure dad, bye.'

'Love you Bells.' I hung up the phone with a heavy heart. I knew I was hurting Charlie, but I'd given him all I could now. I wonder why Alice would ring Charlie? Was she checking up on me or was she checking to see if Jasper had stayed with me or not? Whatever the reason it was all very confusing, neither of us even knew where Alice was. I didn't know if I should tell Jasper about it, but I went off to find him anyway.

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**CHEERS =]**


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Thanks for all the reviews, means a lot. Some big things in this chapter! Read and review to let me know what you think.**

**I don't own any of Stephanie Meyer's work.**

BPOV

It was a Saturday, and I was at the bookstore like I always. Jasper was away hunting. I hated when he went away, but I knew he had to leave. Lying on the couch staring out the window, I felt so empty inside. What was my life going to be now? Jasper wouldn't hang around forever, Alice would eventually come back and I would be alone. I knew I couldn't turn back to Jake after hurting him like I did, I didn't even know if he would let me. A part of me was still angry at him for abandoning us when the newborns came. I mean I know I hurt him and all, but if the wolf's were there maybe Edward wouldn't have died, and I'd be getting married now.

Seth had rung me to tell me that Jake was ok, but since then I hadn't heard anything. The book I was reading reminded me of Jake in so many ways. The guy in the book was like the sun to his girlfriend like Jake was my sun for me. I hope she knew how lucky she was to have him and not stuff everything up like I did. Charlie continued to ring my every couple of days to see how I was and to ask me to come visit him. I hated myself for saying no every time, but the pain was still too dominant for me to be able to go see him. I couldn't bear to go back to my old house and old room where I spent so much time with Edward. Edward, why did it still have to hurt all the time? Things weren't as bad when jasper was around, but like he said, he couldn't stay forever and I couldn't expect him too. Maybe Jake would come back if I tried to get in contact with him. Before I could change my mind, I pulled out me cell to ring Seth.

'Bella? I didn't expect to hear from you. What's up?'

'I was wondering if you could help me get in contact with Jake.'The other end was silent for ages.

'He hasn't told you?'

'Told me what?'Could something have gone wrong?

'He's back Bella, he's been back for about a week now.'

'WHAT? What do you mean he's back, I don't understand I thought...'

'He came back when he heard what happened. I spose he hasn't been able to see you yet. Did you want me to go find him?'

'No thanks Seth, I think I might come out to see him, do you know if he's home?'

'No, but he hasn't been around today, so there's a good chance he could be there.'

'Thanks Seth, cya.' I hung up the phone before Seth could answer me, I can't believe Jake was back and hadn't told me. He was my best friend before he left, and I hoped a part of him still wanted to be. I got in my old truck and drove out to the reservation. It would take me awhile from Seattle, but I was determined to go see him. He had some explaining to do, and also, I just needed to see him.

JPOV

Leaving Bella alone was not one of my favourite things to do, but I had to hunt more now that I was around her all the time. I wasn't as drawn to her blood as I used to be, but I couldn't take the risk that I would hurt her, she was too important to me. Spending so much time with Bella had shown me so much to her. I could see why Edward was so attached to her, she truly didn't realise how special she was. I hated thinking this when Alice was still out there somewhere, but she left me and abandoned Bella. I didn't feel like I owed her much anymore. Alice had been my wife for over 60 years now, but I felt tired of her pushing me away and not letting me in. It's like she only wanted me around when she was happy and I could look good with her. That was a terrible thing to think about my wife, but right now I wasn't too worried about my inner thoughts. I tried to get in contact with her through the number Tanya had given me, but she had made it quite obvious that she wanted nothing more to do with me. That made my mind up that I was going to stay in Forks with Bella as long as she would have me, as her friend or if I even dared to hope, as more. I knew she didn't feeling anything like that for me, but in time maybe she would. The pain of Edward's death was still very prominent in Bella's heart, and I knew she was nowhere near being close to getting past it. It had only been three months after all, but one could dream of the future.

After having my fill, I decided I couldn't be away from Bella any longer and raced back to the store to find her. I raced through the door and up the staircase not caring if anyone saw to me, so I could see Bella, but when I stopped I realised she was no longer there. I could smell her everywhere, but I could not find her. Where would she go? I knew she wasn't ready to face Charlie yet, as she'd made clear several times when I asked her, and I knew she wouldn't have anyone she would want to visit. So where could she have gone? I pulled out my cell and dialled Bella's number.

'Bella where are you?' I didn't even give her time to say hello, I was to worried about her, maybe she wasn't doing as well as I thought she was

'Jasper I'm ok, I'm going to the reservation to see Jacob.'

I must have heard her wrong, surely she was joking.

'You what?'

'I rand Seth today and he told me Jacob was back. I didn't think you'd be back so soon, so I thought you wouldn't even notice. I know Edward never liked me coming down here, but I had to see Jake.'

Hearing her talk about how Edward tried to keep her away from Jacob made me feel ashamed of myself. I didn't want to stop Bella from doing anything she wanted, and I certainly didn't want to cause her anymore pain then she was already going through. As much as I worried about her being around those filthy dogs, I knew I had to let her go. I was never going to win her over if I held her back from living they way she wanted to.

'It's alright Bella, you don't have to explain anything to me, and I may do as you wish. I was just worried about you is all. Be safe and I'll be waiting for you at home.'

'Thank you Jasper. Thank you for understanding; I'll be home around dinner.'

'Call me if you need me k'?'

'Of course.'

With that she hung up on me. I didn't want to hold Bella back the way Edward did. I knew he was only trying to keep her safe, but I could feel the pain it caused her to be away from Jake. Thinking back on that time, it dawned on me that before Jacob left and the fight went down, that Bella felt for Jacob in more than a friendly way. I wasn't sure if she was aware of her feelings for him, but I certainly was. I sudden feeling of jealousy washed over me and I was filled with rage. What if she went to him? What if I had to see her be with that-that dog?' I knew I wouldn't be able to stop it if it happened, but the thought of losing Bella was suffocating. Did I really feel this strongly for her already? Hadn't I loved Alice more than anything these past 60 years? Or had I just thought I did because she saved me from such a terrible existence? Either way I was determined to prove to Bella that I could be there for her and that I would love her more than anything and always be there for her. I just hope I had the time.

I ran home as fast as I could and decided that I would cook her dinner. That was a nice gesture that human men often did for the women they love. What would I cook her though; I found I didn't even really know what Bella liked to eat, other than eggs. I would have to change that, get to know her better.

**OO...What will happen when Bella and Jake see each other again, will she realise her feelings for him, or will Jasper's effort throw her in his direction?**

**Review and let me know what you think!**

**Thanks for reading! Cheers =]**


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE.**

**Hey guys, thank you so much for all your reviews and especially ****tooki13**** and ****MiaBerlin. It ****Keeps me going with all the positive feedback and helpful hints. Sorry about the delay with updating, I've had a bit of writers block!  
Well I hope you enjoy.  
Read and Review.**

**I don't own any of Stephanie Meyer's work, just my plot.**

BPOV

I was a little nervous to see Jake. What if he didn't want to see me? What if I couldn't get past him leaving? Even though I know it was my fault he left, but still. I decided to just push all those thoughts away and see what happened. I pulled my truck into the drive of his house. It looked exactly the same, and my bike was still here. I walked up to the front door but before I could knock, Jake was standing in front of me with just cut off shorts and no shirt. He had let his hair grow longer since the last time I saw him; which was like three months now.

'Bella you're…what are you doing here?'

'Seth told me you where back, why didn't you call? Or come see me?'

'I…I didn't know what to say, if even you'd want to see me after I left.' Now he was feeling guilty? There was too much guilt in my life.

'Of course I'd want to see you, you're my best friend.' I saw his face drop at the word friend, but I couldn't help his feelings for me.

'Come on, follow me.'

'Jake where are we going?' He didn't answer me, just continued to walk down to the back shed.

'Grab your bike, let's go for a ride.'

'Where to?' All I heard was his booming laughter as he rode out onto the road. I quickly jumped on mine not wanting to loose him. Being back on my bike was exhilarating. The air rushing through my hair and whipping my face, it almost felt like I was back on…NO, I won't think about him. It was time to let go. I continued to follow Jake for about five minutes when we pulled up near first beach.

'What are we doing here?'

'Thought we could hang out down here for awhile, catch up and what not. I thought you liked it here?'

'I do.' Jake took my hand and led me down to the old tree where we sat that first time on the beach. Holding his hand was nice, a comfort for me. Maybe things could go back to the way they were.

'So, how have you been with everything? I'm sure Charlie likes having you home.'

'I'm not at home Jake, I'm still at the Cullens.'

'But I thought Sam said they left?'

'They did, except for Jasper. He stayed behind with me, so I've been staying there. I'm not ready to see Charlie yet.'

'Oh, isn't Jasper the one with Alice? Why would he leave her?'

'Actually she left him.' A sudden rage filled me and I clenched my fists, I was still angry at Alice for leaving Jasper. How could she hurt him like that?

'Hey calm down, I'm sorry for asking.'

'Sorry Jake, I'm just a little annoyed at her for leaving. You should have seen him, he was so hurt when she left. But he's doing better now, we both are. How are you? How come you came back?' Jake was quiet for a long time before he answered me.

'I'm so sorry I left Bella, I would give anything to take it back. To know I hurt you like that has been killing me. I never wanted things to end up like this.'

'Jake I don't blame you for leaving, in fact I blame myself for expecting you to stick around after what I did. I'm sorry I put you through so much pain Jake, I never wanted to hurt you like that please for…'

'Don't ask me to forgive you Bella, I knew what I was getting into, and I knew you would pick him over me. Just hurt a little more then I thought when I actually heard it.'

'Well I suppose you don't have to worry about it now do you?' I knew that was a low thing to say, but the weight of his guilt and pain on top of my own, was just to much for me.

'Bella don't be like that, you know if I could I would go back and fight along with him.

'DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM. YOU LEFT; YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT HIM!' I felt terrible for yelling at Jake, but I couldn't take it anymore. Edward was gone, and he wasn't coming back. How was I supposed to get over that? I didn't even realize tears where flowing from my eyes until Jacob wiped them away..

'I didn't mean to upset you Bella, let's talk about something else. Did you notice my new rugged hair style? I call it 'the wild!'' A small smile tugged at my lips as the familiar Jacob I knew came back.

'It looks great Jake; do you like my new style? It's called 'not caring about my appearance.'' Jake and I laughed together as he scruffed my hair up, I missed laughing and talking with him. He always did have a way to make things better. We talked all afternoon until it started to get dark. I knew he didn't want me to go, but I told Jasper I'd be home by dinner.

'Sorry Jake, it's time I start heading home.'

'You don't have to leave you know, you could stay. I can help you Bella, if you just let me.' This started to sound like an all to familiar conversation with me and Jacob and right now I needed my best friend more then what he was thinking about.

'Jake it's too soon and I don't even know if I can think about that right now.'

'I didn't mean it like that Bella, I meant as a friend, whatever you need.'

'I need you Jacob, I do, I just need to go home right now. I'm sorry. I can come back tomorrow?'

'Sure. Defiantly' Jake was a little to eager about me coming back, but I would deal with the consequences later.

We rode our bikes back to his house and I waved goodbye as I climbed into my truck. Roaring it to life I pulled out of the drive and headed back to the Cullen's house. Things had gone much better then I thought they would, I hope me and Jake could go back to the way things were and not complicated. I needed my best friend. I needed Jasper too and I hope he wasn't upset with me going. I knew he wasn't thrilled about my relationship with the wolves, but maybe he was ok with trusting me. Jasper had become apart of my life in a way I never thought he would. I didn't want him to leave, but I also didn't want to get to close to him. I knew he was still in love with Alice, and I still loved Ed..Him, but the last couple of days I've felt so much better around him and talking to him. It was starting to worry me how much his company was affecting me. I couldn't afford another love triangle in my life. Besides, I don't think I could betray Edward like that, he was my life.

JPOV

I heard Bella's truck rumbling in the distance. I tried to offer her a new car, but she was extremely attached to her old truck. Which confused me as the thing was a piece of junk. I would never tell her that though, she'd try to kill me. When Bella pulled up I could tell she was confused and I hoped it wasn't because things went bad with Jacob or good. What if things went good? I shouldn't be thinking about that. Bella wasn't the type to rush into anything and I knew the pain from Edward's death was very much still prominent in her life. She felt the pain of it everyday, even though she was slowly healing, it was always still there; like a shadow. She walked through the door with a frown on her face, not even noticing me in the hallway. She walked straight up to her room and closed the door. A part of my felt defeated, she didn't even notice me, whatever was on her mind was more important then dinner. I felt like an idiot now, cooking for her and trying to get her to fall for me. What was wrong with me? It was too soon after Edward's death for her to even think like that. Maybe she would want some dinner anyway. I ran to her room and knocked on the door.

'Come in Jasper.' It was only a whisper, but she knew I would hear her.

'How'd it go? You ok?'

'Sure, I'm fine. It went ok, better then I thought.' My heart fell. Better then she thought? Things must have gone well then. _'Snap out of it major, your being pathetic.'_

'Jasper?'

'Sorry Bella I zoned out, what did you say?'

'What did you get up to this afternoon?'

'Oh, I went to Seattle for a while, then just came back her and cooked.'

'You cooked? What ever for?'

'For you silly, you've hardly been eating at all, so I cooked you a big hearty dinner!'

'Jasper you shouldn't have wasted your time, you didn't need to do that for me.'

'Nonsense Bella. Now get down there and eat.' I didn't give Bella time to protest and pushed her towards the door. We walked into the kitchen together when Bella stopped mid stride with her mouth falling to the floor. Her emotions were giving off shock.

'Did I do well?'

'Jasper this is amazing. I didn't even know you could cook. What is all this?'

'Chicken tikka with raita and sizzling garlic beef with brocilini. I found it in a recipe book Esme left here. I hope it's alright, I'm afraid I was a baste taste tester.'

Bella's laugh filled the kitchen as she went and sat down in front of the food.

'This smells amazing Jazz, but I don't think I can eat all of it.' I froze, she called me Jazz? Only Alice ever called me that.

'I'm sorry Jasper I didn't mean to offend you, I just meant there's a lot of food here.'

'Oh im not offended, just you calling me Jazz took me by surprise. Only Alice use to call me that.'

'Oh, I can call you Jasper if you like?'

'No no, forgive me, I wasn't saying it was a bad thing. I like the way it sounds when you say it.' OMG, did I really just say that? Way to play it smooth Major. Bella thankfully just smiled and began eating her food. I'd have to watch what I said from now on. The last thing I wanted to do was push Bella away from me by moving to fast with her.


End file.
